Let’s face it—there are things we all need to hear that nobody wants to say. As leaders, entrepreneurs, and high achievers, we like to think we’ve got it all figured out, but the truth is, we often get in our own way. This isn’t about blame, judgment, or criticism. It’s about waking you up to your own potential.
I’m not here to sugarcoat reality or tell you what you want to hear. I’m deliberately using language that’s provocative and direct (I guess I am becoming more and more Dutch by the day) because sometimes, that’s the only way to cut through the noise. This is not about me or arrogance—it’s about getting you to see what’s possible for you when you step up and own your role as a leader. So buckle up, and take these truths to heart.
And if one or all of the below truths doesn’t apply to you, ignore it and let it go. I am not here to convince, justify or prove anything. Consider the below as gentle provocations to help you see something of value that you might be missing. And if not, that’s already amazing.
1. Your Employees Aren’t Unmotivated—You’re Uninspiring.
When was the last time you made your team feel something beyond the grind? Motivation doesn’t come from forcing people to work harder; it comes from making them believe in a vision worth working for. If your team is dragging, ask yourself: are you leading with energy, passion, and a purpose they can rally around?
Personal Story: Early in my career, I used to think I had to be the toughest guy in the room. I’d push, push, push, and then wonder why my team wasn’t matching my intensity. It hit me one day when a team member said, “We don’t even know why we’re working this hard.” That was a wake-up call. I realized I was driving them but not leading them toward something meaningful. When I began sharing the bigger purpose and inviting them into the vision, everything changed. Suddenly, they weren’t just working hard—they were inspired to build something with me.
2. Your Team Isn’t Overworked—You’re Underleading.
The number of hours your team works doesn’t define their success. But if they’re burning out, constantly overwhelmed, and unclear on priorities, it’s not because they have too much work—it’s because you haven’t given them enough guidance. Leadership isn’t just delegating tasks; it’s about providing the clarity, direction, and support needed to make the load feel manageable.
Client Example: I was coaching a CEO who believed her team was on the verge of collapse from overwork. But when we dove deeper, it wasn’t the workload itself that was the issue. The team didn’t know where to focus their energy. They felt scattered, not overworked. Once she shifted her leadership to provide clear priorities and restructured the workload, the team started to thrive. It wasn’t about reducing tasks—it was about providing direction.
3. Your Customers Aren’t Demanding—You’re Underdelivering.
If your customers are constantly unsatisfied, they’re not the problem (unless you have the wrong customers you know you should say NO to). You are. Customers demand what they need. It’s your job to exceed those needs. Are you consistently showing up for them, or are you falling short? Don’t blame the market when you can control how you show up in it.
I once worked with a company that was getting frustrated with their clients for what they felt were “unreasonable” demands. But the truth was, the company had stopped innovating. Their product was behind the times, and the customers were just pushing for what should have been the standard. It took some hard reflection, but once the company stepped up its game, the complaints turned into praise.
4. Your Meetings Aren’t Pointless—You’re Making Them That Way.
We’ve all been in those mind-numbing meetings that suck the life out of us. But here’s the kicker: if your meetings are a waste of time, it’s because you haven’t made them purposeful. Every meeting should have a clear goal and leave people feeling more empowered, not drained. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Client Example: One of my clients, a founder, had meetings that always ran long, felt scattered, and frustrated everyone involved. When I asked him why he thought the meetings were necessary, he couldn’t give a concrete answer. We restructured his meetings around clear objectives with action items at the end of each one. The result? Meetings were cut in half, and productivity soared.
5. Your Business Isn’t Stagnating Because of the Market—It’s Because of Your Inaction.
Stop blaming the economy, competitors, or timing. If your business is stuck, it’s because you’re stuck. Growth doesn’t happen by waiting for the right conditions; it happens when you take bold, decisive action regardless of the external factors. The market will always have its ups and downs, but how you navigate it is entirely up to you.
Personal Story: I remember when I first left my tech career to start my coaching business, I was terrified. I found myself waiting for “the right time” to launch, blaming the market and my own doubts for the delay. But eventually, I realized I was the one holding myself back. Once I stopped waiting and took action, even imperfect action, my business started to take off. And guess what? The market didn’t change—I did.
6. Your Employees Don’t Resist Change—They Resist Poor Leadership.
People aren’t afraid of change—they’re afraid of chaos. If your team is pushing back on new initiatives, it’s not because they’re set in their ways. It’s because you haven’t communicated the why behind the change or made them feel safe during the transition. Change without leadership is just disruption.
Client Example: A tech company I worked with was rolling out a major software update, and their development team was resisting the change. The leadership thought it was just the team’s resistance to doing more work, but the real issue was a lack of understanding. Once the CEO sat down with the team to explain the vision and addressed their concerns, the team embraced the change wholeheartedly. The resistance wasn’t about the work—it was about the unknown.
7. Your Team’s Innovation Isn’t Lacking—Your Support Is.
Innovation doesn’t happen in a vacuum. If your team isn’t coming up with new ideas, it’s not because they’re not capable—it’s because they don’t feel supported. Are you fostering a culture where risk-taking is rewarded, or are people too afraid to fail because they don’t feel backed up by leadership?
Personal Story: I’ve seen this firsthand with my own teams in the past. Early on, I would give them a lot of autonomy but rarely provide the support or encouragement they needed. It wasn’t until one of my team members said, “We’re not sure what you expect from us,” that I realized I had failed to support their innovation. Once I started engaging more directly, their creativity and initiative flourished.
8. Your Projects Aren’t Failing Due to Complexity—They’re Failing Due to Your Lack of Clarity.
Complexity is part of the game, especially as your business grows. But if your projects are failing, it’s because you haven’t been clear about expectations, timelines, or outcomes. Don’t let complexity become an excuse for disorganization. Leaders thrive on complexity by bringing clarity into the chaos. Make things simple. Then multiply. You can not multiply a complex system.
9. Your Company Culture Isn’t Toxic Because of Them—It’s Toxic Because of You.
Toxic cultures don’t just happen. They’re the result of a lack of leadership. If your team is full of backstabbing, finger-pointing, and negativity, look in the mirror. You set the tone for the culture, whether you realize it or not. The good news? You also have the power to change it.
10. Your Goals Aren’t Unreachable—You’re Just Not Reaching.
Dreams don’t die because they’re too big; they die because you stop chasing them. If your goals feel unattainable, it’s because you’ve stopped pushing yourself. You’re more capable than you think. The only thing holding you back from achieving greatness is your willingness to go after it relentlessly.
This is not about blame—this is about waking you up to your potential. Every challenge you face has a solution, and that solution starts with you. You are the leader, the visionary, the one who sets the tone.
Once again, if one or all of the above truths don’t apply to you, ignore it and let it go. I am not here to convince, justify or prove anything to you. Consider the above as gentle provocations to help you see something of value that you might be missing. And if not, that’s already amazing.