As a founder, entrepreneur, or CEO of a company, your journey is all about growth. Not just the growth of your business, but your growth as a leader. Coaching can be a powerful tool to accelerate this, but only if you approach it the right way. The success of coaching isn’t in what the coach knows or says. A big part of that depends on how you, the coachee, show up.
I learned this the hard way. Early in my coaching journey, I thought my coach would have all the answers, that they were the expert who would guide me to success. But one day, my coach told me something that shifted my entire perspective: “Nobody is coming to save you.” It was blunt, but it was the truth. The coach isn’t there to save you; they’re there to challenge you, ask you tough and uncomfortable questions, and hold up a mirror to what you’re creating in your life. (hint: if the coach is the expert, then that is better called consulting, not coaching)
Many people think the value of coaching is “out there”—in the wisdom or expertise of the coach. But the truth is, the value (and power) is already within you. The coach is there to facilitate, to challenge, to provide a space, but it’s you who turns insight into transformation.
The real value of coaching is in how you choose to listen, perceive, and act. It’s not in the coach’s wisdom, but in your commitment to growing as a leader. Let’s explore how to take full responsibility for your coaching journey and get the most out of it.
The Coachee’s Role: Owning the Process
Coaching is not about sitting back and hoping the coach will give you some magic formula. It’s about owning the process. Coaching is a safe place to practice life and commit to producing big results, but it’s up to you to engage fully.
Let me give you an example: I was coaching a founder who wanted to grow his business from $5M to $10M in annual revenue. At first, he thought it was just a matter of getting better at sales and operations. But through our conversations, he realized that the real challenge was his own fear of stepping up as a leader. He was holding back on making bold decisions because he was afraid of failure.
Once he took ownership of that fear and realized that he was the one producing the results in his business, things changed. He started leading his team more decisively, took unimaginable risks, and his business started growing—not because of any specific tactic we discussed, but because he shifted how he saw himself as a leader.
When I heard “Nobody is coming to save you”, at first, it felt like a punch to the gut. But then it clicked—that was the best news I could have received. It meant that the power to change my circumstances was entirely within me. The coach wasn’t there to fix things but to help me discover that I could.
1. Active Participation is Key
The more you put into your coaching sessions, the more you get out. To get the most out of coaching, you have to show up fully engaged. This isn’t a passive process where you sit and wait for insights to fall into your lap. It’s an active journey.
- Show up prepared: Before each session, reflect on what you want to create. What are your biggest challenges right now? What do you want to be different?
- Embrace discomfort: Growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. Be willing to step into the tough questions your coach asks and experiment with new ways of thinking and leading.
- Listen deeply: One of the most powerful moments in coaching comes when you hear yourself say something that shifts your perspective. That insight is already within you, and it’s up to you to listen for it.
2. Commitment to Growth
One of the biggest shifts I’ve seen in clients is when they fully commit to their own growth. This means you’re not just focused on hitting your business goals, but on growing as a leader.
I once worked with a founder who was obsessed with achieving a financial target. But as we worked together, it became clear that his biggest hurdle wasn’t the market, his product, or his team. It was his own reluctance to delegate and trust his leadership team. Once he committed to growing as a leader, the financial goals started to fall into place. His business didn’t just grow—it flourished, because he was growing right alongside it.
- Set clear goals: Before you start coaching, know what you want to achieve. What are your dreams? What’s been holding you back?
- Understand why you haven’t achieved them yet: Often, the biggest barrier to your success is within you. Identifying these barriers is the first step to overcoming them.
3. Take Ownership of Results
You are already producing the results in your life and business, whether you realize it or not. Coaching helps bring that into conscious awareness. The power to create change isn’t with the coach—it’s with you.
- You are the creator: Every outcome you see in your life is a reflection of how you are leading, whether it’s good or bad. You are already creating these results, and the power lies in realizing that you can create something different.
- Stop looking for answers outside yourself: Your coach isn’t going to fix you or your business. They will challenge you, ask tough questions, and create a space for reflection, but the real work is in how you step up and take responsibility for your results.
Example: Emily, a founder of a marketing firm, constantly felt overwhelmed. She believed external factors were to blame—demanding clients, market volatility, tight deadlines. Her coach posed a challenging question: “How are you contributing to your own overwhelm?” This shifted her perspective. Emily recognized that by not setting boundaries and trying to control everything, she was the architect of her stress. Taking ownership allowed her to implement changes, delegate effectively, and create a healthier work environment.
Material Outcomes: Just Practice for Real Transformation
Most people come to coaching with a desire for specific material outcomes: more revenue, a stronger team, a successful product launch. And while those goals are important, they’re not the real transformation.
The real transformation is your growth as a leader. The material outcomes are just the practice field where you get to see how much you’ve grown. The true value of coaching is the awareness that you can create any outcome, once you fully step into your role as a leader.
Take this story from one of my clients: He came into coaching wanting to double his company’s revenue. But by the end of our work together, he realized the real transformation was in his leadership. He saw that every decision, every result, was a reflection of how he showed up as a leader. Once he stepped into that, the revenue followed naturally. It wasn’t about hitting a number; it was about realizing that he had the power to create any result he wanted.
Maximizing Every Coaching Session
To get the most out of coaching, take responsibility for every session. Here’s how:
- Bring your toughest challenges first: Don’t wait until the end of the session to talk about the big stuff. Dive in right away. I spend at at least an hour preparing myself before a coaching session.
- Keep a running list of important topics: Between sessions, jot down any insights or challenges that arise. This keeps you focused.
- Focus on critical needs: Your coach doesn’t need a recap of your week. Focus on what’s really challenging you.
- Revisiting and reflecting: I revisit and reflect on my learnings from each coaching session 1 day, 3 day, and 1 week after the coaching session to let them sink into my subconscious
The Power of Integrity: Saying What You Mean, Doing What You Say
At the heart of producing results is integrity—the simple practice of saying what you mean and doing what you say. When your actions align with your words, you become a powerful creator. Every promise you make is first a promise to yourself, and when you consistently honor that promise, you start to see the real power of your word.
Imagine if every time you made a promise, it happened. That’s what integrity offers. When you start living in alignment with what you say, everything you declare becomes possible.
- Honor your word, even when it’s uncomfortable: Don’t let your likes, dislikes, or feelings dictate your actions. Once you’ve committed to something, follow through.
- The power of promises to yourself: Every promise you make is first a promise to yourself. Honor that, and your word becomes a tool for creating your reality.
An absurd and dramatic example
Imagine this: You’re walking through a graveyard. Everything seems lifeless. But as you walk, dead bodies begin to rise out of the ground—one by one, they come to life and start asking to work with you, wanting your leadership and insight.
It sounds absurd, right? Completely impossible.
Yet, this is the exact metaphor I use to explain the power we have as leaders. We all have the ability to “create” something out of nothing by changing how we see ourselves and the world around us. Just as those “dead bodies” in the graveyard seem immobile, the challenges or situations in your business may appear stagnant or impossible to change. But when you realize that you are the source of change, you suddenly have the ability to transform the seemingly impossible into new opportunities.
I know this is an overly dramatic example – but I want to make a point – results like the above are available for you from coaching.
The Final Word: You’re the Creator
Coaching gives you a space to practice producing results. But the practice doesn’t end in the coaching session—it extends into your life and business. The real world is where the impact happens.
One of the most profound things I’ve learned from my own coaching journey is that the transformation isn’t in the outcome, it’s in the process. When you start to see yourself as the creator of your results, there’s no limit to what you can achieve. You’re already doing it—you just have to step into that awareness.
Remember, nobody is coming to save you—and that’s the best news you could hope for. It means the power to change is in your hands. When you fully commit to the process, take ownership, and see yourself as the creator, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.