Have you ever thought you knew something only to realize later how much more there was to learn?
It’s a common trap—especially for leaders. We get so used to needing the answers, being the expert, that we can easily fall into the illusion of knowing. Let’s explore why this is such a dangerous trap and how you can avoid it.
The Comfort of Familiar Labels
For a long time, I knew who I was. I was an engineer. I was an introvert. I was not a coach. These labels felt familiar, safe even. As an engineer, I was comfortable solving complex problems with logic. As an introvert, I avoided the spotlight, staying quiet and unseen. And as someone who knew he “wasn’t a coach,” I knew I wasn’t the kind of person who could help others grow.
But then, reality started chipping away at these “certainties.” I found myself in situations that pushed me outside my comfort zone. People began seeking my advice, wanting my insights, and it forced me to question my labels. What if I could be more than just an engineer? What if being an introvert didn’t stop me from being an impactful leader? It took years of challenging these notions before I embraced a new identity—a coach who stands for other people’s transformation.
Client Example: I once worked with a CEO who was convinced that “I know my team is too complacent.” He was frustrated because he thought he had all the answers, and nothing was changing. When we dug deeper, it became clear that he had never actually listened to his team’s perspectives. They weren’t complacent—they were unclear about the vision. When he dropped the “I know” mindset, he finally heard their concerns, and things started to shift.
Knowledge is the Enemy of Learning
The Illusion of Knowing
We often believe we have it all figured out, but just like trying to explain how a car engine works in detail, we may quickly find that our knowledge is superficial. It’s an illusion—the illusion of knowing more than we do.
I once had a client, a successful entrepreneur, who believed he “knew” his market inside out. He had been in the industry for over a decade and felt there wasn’t much more to learn. However, when we explored his assumptions, he realized he hadn’t considered how customer needs were evolving.
His once-thriving business had started to plateau, and his unwillingness to question what he “knew” was a big part of the problem. He learned to let go of that certainty, stay curious, and adapt—and his business began to grow again.
Three Ways to Escape the Trap of ‘I Know’
How can we, as leaders, avoid falling into the trap of thinking we know it all? Here are three practical approaches that have worked for me and my clients:
1. Resist the Need to Say, “I Know”
The quickest way to shut down new learning is to utter those words: “I know.” It’s natural to want to be seen as competent and knowledgeable, but this often comes at the cost of genuine understanding.
- Example from My Life: In my early days as a coach, I thought I knew what my clients needed without truly listening to them. I remember once giving a client advice before they had even finished explaining their situation. The look of frustration on their face told me everything—I had shut down the opportunity to learn something deeper about their challenges. From that moment on, I committed to listening fully before assuming I had the answer.
2. Stay Curious and Embrace the Unknown
Curiosity is the antidote to the illusion of knowledge. When we think we know something, we stop exploring. But the best leaders are the ones who remain endlessly curious, always looking to dig deeper.
- Practical Tip: Pick a topic that feels familiar—maybe it’s something in your industry, a recent trend, or even a challenge in your personal life. Challenge yourself to learn something new about it. Read conflicting views, ask more questions, and engage with it as if you’re a beginner. You might be surprised at what you uncover.
3. Practice Explaining to Others
A great test of your knowledge is whether you can explain it simply. The process of articulating your understanding forces you to confront gaps in your thinking.
- Client Story: I had a client who prided himself on his financial expertise. I challenged him to explain his company’s financial strategy to a new hire in plain language. He struggled, realizing that he was hiding behind jargon and buzzwords. This exercise not only helped him understand his own gaps but also made him a much more effective communicator.
Vulnerability as a Path to Growth
One of the most transformative shifts I made was learning to admit when I didn’t know something. As an engineer, admitting I didn’t know was terrifying—it felt like failure. But as a coach, I realized that my willingness to be vulnerable—to say “I don’t know, but let’s find out”—opened up entirely new possibilities for my clients and myself. The same is true for you as a leader. Saying “I don’t know” is not your weakness but your strength.
Your Challenge: The next time you find yourself about to say, “I know,” pause. Ask yourself if you truly do. Could there be more to learn? Could there be another perspective you haven’t yet considered? Lean into that discomfort—it’s where growth happens.
Conclusion
The trap of “I know” is one of the most insidious challenges for leaders. It keeps us comfortable but ultimately stuck. To grow as a leader, you must be willing to let go of certainty, stay curious, and be open to learning, even when it’s uncomfortable. The leaders who thrive are not the ones who claim to have all the answers but those who remain lifelong learners, willing to question themselves and adapt.
Are you ready to let go of what you think you know and discover what’s truly possible for you and your leadership?